As with sadness the world over, for iconic losses, and continued injustice in Iran, there was also unrest in my home this week.
Sunday began quietly enough but seemed to unravel quickly. Little Dolly, the smallest kitten became gravely ill. She was bouncing around all day but quickly deteriorated. I can’t find words to explain the heartbreak of watching this dear little creature suffer for more than two hours before life left her. I held her the entire time and she never took her eyes away from mine. She cried out with each cramp that raveged her little body. I was a snotty mess but continued to hug and reassure her. Her final hour was calmer and she meowed softly at me a few times before she was gone.
Animals are not humans; I know this. Some people say, “It was just a pet.” For me, a soul is a soul and a life is a life. I am not saying losing an animal is the same as losing a parent or a child. Still, it is losing a family member when you love them right. Dolly was only with me for 10 days, but she brought absolute joy to our house. She had her own personality and as devastating as it was to see her out of this world, I am glad that she only knew love while she was here.
Shortly after Dolly was gone I noticed that my seven-year old boy cat, Riley SweetPea was acting strange. He progressively got more and more ill as the night turned into morning. Though the two illnesses appear to be unrelated, the timing was odd. When the vet opened Monday I was there. I dropped Riley off and headed to a command performance at my GP’s office. We went over the entire report from Internal Medicine, and though all the cancer screens were negative it was decided that I needed a colonoscopy ASAP. I agreed to it and headed to the hospital for blood work. On my way home eight hours later I picked up Riley and some antibiotics for him. Having been awake for almost 2 days at this point I wanted sleep but Riley was getting sicker despite the medication. We were up all night again and well into Tuesday. I knew by afternoon that he would be dead within hours if I didn’t return to the vet.
I am blessed in my life with the most wonderful and supportive friends/family/chosen family. With the aid of a dear friend I was able to take Riley back to the vet before returning home to start the preparation for Wednesday’s colonoscopy. Without getting too graphic, I will say that the GOD-AWFUL 4 liters (1 gallon) of laxative I had to drink was enough to make me pray for death. That coupled with the laxative pills induced 12 hours of full body revolt. By Wednesday morning I had been awake almost 4 days and hadn’t eaten in 40 hours. My diet of clear liquids, the loss of Dolly, and Riley’s continuing stay at the hospital had welcomed “The Ugly Cry” on an off the whole time; which was probably a good thing: release or explode. Following the “procedure” I ate the best damn BIG MAC I ever had (I chased it with a Strawberry milkshake). Then returned home and crashed for five glorious hours of sleep.
Thursday was a better day. Though my dear little Riley was still at the vet, he was stable. I was very thankful for some down time and rest. Thursday evening the lovely 91 year-old-man down stairs was taken away in an ambulance. It was very troubling because he has been the victim of elder abuse for months (in the form of constant yelling and theft, by a family member who visits the home daily). Though I tried to get him to let me call the police he said he was fine and (PLEASE) not to call. He didn’t want things to get worse. If I called and he told them he was fine, it would be worse. I suspected that his “Caretaker” was instrumental in his illness and I told the EMS workers this with her standing there. I was sick with regret over the poor man all night. Things have escalated in the past 24 hours. There are many details I won’t get into. However, he is home safe and well, there are lawyers/authorities involved, and the locks have been changed. She will not step foot in this house again as long as I am here. I am not a hero; there are things I should have done a LOT sooner. I won’t make this mistake again.
We all face adversity and when it snowballs I want to hide in a corner. Yet I am blessed, there are people in my life that have let me down terribly, and there are those that have gone above and beyond. Not everybody has this balance; I am one of the lucky ones.
Aside from the people in my material realm there has been an outpouring of love and support for me and my furry babies, from Twitter and Facebook. I am a web junkie; there are fine people (and not so fine people) in the virtual realm. Social networks can bring likeminded folk together. Cat lovers from all over the world have been praying for Riley. In the moments of the days when I thought I couldn’t handle another thing, messages of kindness and support lifted me. Riley continues to be stable and appears to be getting better. I hope to have him home within a few days. He is beyond missed. My Fat Cat, Rory-Beanie, has been on a hunger strike since he left. I’ve had to bribe her to eat with Twinkies, chips, and sugary cat food for days. I am a bad parent.
We are ALL in this together. Some people will NEVER get that. Some people will take and tear down all their days on earth. Some will look at every action with a price tag attached, wondering “what’s in it for me?” And some people, however flawed and human, are kind and well meaning. I feel I am one of these people: Far from perfect, but wanting the best for others. I have met many people who are the same - and you know who you are! I thank each and every one of you for the kindness you’ve shown me this week. Daily, just as I was well into the ugly cry, an unexpected laugh or warm word would come my way… and those moments got me through. Thank you all so much.
Pamela xo
