Kiss Kill – Music With Heart
Indie rockers give back wherever they can.
Pop-punk band Kiss Kill’s music has been likened to Tracy Bonham, Garbage, and Tegan & Sara. The band, co-founded in 2007 by, wife and wife, duo Michelle (vox/violin) and Dusti (bass), has since morphed into a quartet of four equal parts with Jeff (guitar/vox) and Mike (percussion).
Operating out of Portland, OR, the group has built a following across the Northwestern US. When they’re not rockin’ the stage both Michelle and Dusti are employed as social workers. Their belief in giving back has inspired them to stay involved in the queer community whenever possible. Michelle often speaks at high schools, and treatment centers about her previous battles with anorexia and self-mutilation.
The bands next big gig is a May 22nd fund-raiser for SMYRC (a GLBTQ youth mentoring organization in Portland). The event will consist of the theatrical play, “She Had Wept” (based on selections from Michelle’s book of the same title), followed by an after-party featuring several bands including Kiss Kill. A silent auction is also planned for the event. Donations to the auction include art from Jann Arden, Linda Woods, as well as local Portland artisans. If you would like to donate $$ or prizes for the auction please contact Michelle @ http://www.kisskillrocks.com/
The ladies took some time from their busy lives to answer a few questions:
Why is it important for you to give back to the GLBTQ community?
Both Dusti and I feel that although society in general has become more progressive, it is still extremely difficult to be a queer adolescent.
30% of the completed teen suicides are committed by LGBTQ youth. 50% of all queer youth state that their parents have abandoned them due to their sexual orientation. Over 55% of gay men have problems with substance abuse and 30% of the queer community suffers from alcoholism. The numbers just get worse and worse: homelessness, parental physical/ verbal abuse, high school drops out rates, etc. It’s truly horrifying; and to think that we, as a society, are doing this openly to our youth…
I (Michelle) for one can only imagine how my life would have been different if I might have had a positive queer role model in my life. I can’t say that it would have all been rainbows and butterflies with puppies and sunshine…We just think that having well adjusted LGBTQ adults actively supporting and giving back to their community is one of the only ways society will be able to break down the walls of stereotypes and statistics.
Our hearts and sympathies go out to Sirdeaner Walker: whose son, Carl Walker an 11 year old Massachusetts boy, hung himself after suffering from anti-gay bullying in his middle school. It’s all so terribly tragic!
Michelle, you are very open about your personal life struggles. What motivates this?
When I was 19 years old, my younger sister wrote me a letter that changed my life forever. She wrote: “Do you know how I love you? I always have and no matter what you do or what you choose I will always love you… it’s just so hard to say goodbye… I understand a little now- not goodbye but see you later. I love you.” She loved me so much that she could understand if I needed to kill myself; she just wanted me to be happy.
At that moment, I realized how love was perhaps the one thing still worth fighting for. I made a promise to myself from that day forward: I would be “that love” to the world- that my life was meant for something so much greater.
I see no reason in hiding from my past. I try to vocalize my struggles as much as possible because I have always dreamt my music and poetry would one day be the hope and the love that one person might need to change their life so completely:
Your whole life can change in a single moment- life is comprised of a series of choices and actions that make up these moments. And in life, the only thing that remains constant, is the idea that love is the driving force that encourages the soul to move forward…to seek out the light amidst the darkness…to strive for things greater than despair. Be aware of others. Love them because they are human, because you are human; because love will heal all wounds and love is the one thing that many find themselves without.
Your lives are the topic of a soon to be released documentary. Can you tell us a little about that?
The film follows the wedding planning process and the actual wedding itself. We were married on Hahei beach, in New Zealand on March 12, 2007. The documentary highlights the struggles that we as a couple faced during that time: with our families, politically, personally, and of course together. The film also focuses on our back-stories and interviews many people from out past. Both Dusti and I share our crazy life stories concerning our journeys through alcoholism, anorexia, and self-mutilation. In the end, the film takes place over several months and illustrates both the struggles and the triumphs we endured.
Now that your first CD has been released, what goals come next?
As a band, we are happy to have this first EP out of the way! We call it an EP because we are still interested in recording these songs and our newest (previously unrecorded) songs professionally. We are shooting for sometime this summer to get into a “real” recording studio and bang out a kick ass record. This EP was actually recorded in our living room and Jeff, the guitar king, mixed and mastered this baby all on his own. We are very happy with the outcome but look forward to a professional record soon.
We are also tentatively planning a “mini-tour” around the Western United States. Where we hope to hit our hometowns of Moses Lake, Washington, Laramie, Wyoming and Mesa, Arizona. But as of right now, we are all just mindlessly slaving away at our prospective day jobs- trying to make enough money to pay for said “mini-tour.”
What is your favorite thing about performing live?
Well, I (Michelle) for one am terrified of being on stage. I have extreme stage fright, so perhaps Dusti is the more qualified lady to answer this question…
(Dusti) Even as a teenager my greatest dream was to become a rock star. Music has always been the most influential force in my life. I can remember going to the live shows of many great female musicians (Ani Difranco, Melissa Ferrick, Courtney Love) and being in complete awe not only of their talent but of their passion and attitude on stage.
When I perform live, I just want to Rock… it’s that simple.
The music scene has changed so much in a very short time. I can’t express the importance of supporting indie artists, as well as signed artists. Please pay for the songs you’re listening to and keep the music ALIVE!
In appreciation for your time and comments Kiss Kill are generously giving a few autographed prizes for giveaway. For a chance to win: you MUST leave a comment! Contest closes Sunday May 10th, 12pm MT. Good Luck!
Buy Michelle’s book @ Amazon.com: She Had Wept
Follow Kiss Kill on Twitter: http://twitter.com/KissKillRocks
Friend them on MYSPACE: http://www.myspace.com/kisskillrocksmysocks
Kiss Kill Official: http://www.kisskillrocks.com/
05/07/2009 at 6:45 pm
Stunning article. Stunning story. Wouldn’t life be fab if there were more people in the world like this. Thanks so much.
xxJ
05/07/2009 at 6:59 pm
My God! I love them even more now! Great interview. SO great to see artists that are lending their voice to queer youth. What we would have done tho have that back in the day- Strangely, bullying and suicides seem to have worsened in recent years. As a gay youth in the 80s, I foresaw a brighter and more tolerant future. Whenever I thought past the year 2000 in my mind’s eye, I thought that homophobia would be completely abolished. Which is what kept me going. Never did I think that there would be such an epidemic of desperation, destruction and entire states/ countries “voting” against gay marriage.
I digress-
Can’t wait to see them live. Fantastic!
05/07/2009 at 7:19 pm
Your pictures are lovely, but not as lovely as your story and your message. In my high school (graduated 1995) we had about a dozen lesbians but no boys ever came out during our high school years. I can understand, the girls had a group to support them, but the boys would have only been bullied and made fun of. One of my dear male friends came out of the closet after college and I wish he would have known all those years ago that we would love him no matter what. Thank you for sharing your message. (and no, I am not gay, but I think that love is love is love. I support it in all forms)
05/07/2009 at 7:43 pm
Thank you for this article! These ladies are lovely and amazing people. I’m glad to have heard their story and eagerly await the documentary. You’ll have to tweet when it’s available!
05/07/2009 at 8:56 pm
Touching story, I don’t think I could even put into words properly how touching. When you have someone you love who is gay, and everyone suspects they are but that person alone is so afraid of saying the words out loud you can feel their heartache, you can taste their fear and you can always sense them needing to find where they belong in this great big world, you just tell them you’ll love them no matter what. You don’t judge but love them with your whole heart. You watch them get bullied, you see their self-esteem tank and you want to shield them from it all. In the end, they find their voice and they say it out loud and they ask you “remember when you said you would love me no matter what, did you mean it” and you answer, so happy “absolutely, now just say those words out loud and feel everything that comes with it”. I have seen first hand the difficulties of being a gay adolescent, I am the friend who loved with open arms and today, I teach my children to love everyone no matter who they love. Love doesn’t chose genders it is just love…
05/07/2009 at 9:21 pm
I wonder if the Louis IV couch featured in the pic is one of the autographed giveaways…
“Wife and wife,” love that intro, Pam. Kudos to the wives for using their voices to sing AND share stories that will reach and empower the loneliest hearts out there, gay teens.
A book, a CD, a doc–these Kiss Killers are mass media weapons in white dresses! I will take a listen…
05/07/2009 at 9:22 pm
Impossible to follow behind the above eloquent responses.
My thought revolves around the support of Indie Artists. They are up against another machine: the Music Industry.
It is up to the grass roots.. the regular folks.. the music lovers and admirers of true talent and passion .. to put the MI where it belongs. In the past.
Thanks Pamela.
05/08/2009 at 6:10 am
Okay, this is proof positive of the importance of acknowledging the journey!..
I listened to Kiss Kill the other night and enjoyed, your article made me want to go back and listen again with different ears.
Pam, you ask the important questions that get to the heart of the music, those are the questions I want and need asked of artisits I intend to connect with.
It makes my heart beat faster when “Love” wins and triumphs the pain.
Great Article!!
05/08/2009 at 6:17 am
What a heartbreaking and wonderful story. Thank you, Pam, for writing it so perfectly, and Dusti and Michelle, for sharing it so bravely. These photos are fantastic, too!
05/08/2009 at 6:57 am
Pam, your writing, as usual is excellent! The big thing that I take from this article is that Michelle’s little sister kept her from killing herself simply by writing a letter that said the right things at the right time. I wonder how many lives could change if people just took the time to reach out to others when they know or feel something isn’t right.
People who are hurtful and cruel to others for things they perceive as differences no matter what those “differences” are, are capable of achieving only two things; making someone else feel bad and highlighting thier own inadequacies.
We need to stand up for people who can’t stand on thier own. Sometimes that person is us. Respect for ourselves and for others would absolutely solve every problem in the world. Think about any problem and if you strip it back to respecting self and others. The problem miraculously disappears, or at least is able to be solved. This is the most important thing we need to teach to children and adults need to be the ones to set the example. If I sound like I am preaching I don’t mean to. It’s just that as a mother of two boys I feel it’s important to walk the walk.
05/08/2009 at 6:33 pm
This is a wonderful article! The message that these two are able to convey through their actions and art is amazing!! Moses Lake wasn’t the best place to grow up in this situation but look at all of the good that came of it
Love yah!!!
05/09/2009 at 11:55 am
Wonderful article and beautiful photos!
05/09/2009 at 12:40 pm
I’m an old bi broad now, wish I’d had role models like this as a youth, bless you! How many kids out there are wallowing in shame for the sake of love, fer Pete’s sake? You’ll never know how many of them you’ve helped via articles such as this, thanks, Pamela.
05/09/2009 at 1:05 pm
The letter she got from her sister sent shivers down my spine.
Awesome post! You know I am a fan of your work Pam. This post was beautifully done, for a group that is so worth sharing! Bravo!
05/09/2009 at 3:38 pm
Thanks for sharing this with us Pam, it’s always good to read/see/hear about people reaching out to do good for others, rather than what we usually get blasted with in the media…
Dawn
05/09/2009 at 9:23 pm
Hi there! I came by way of Linda.
I love the Indigo Girls, The Be Good Tanyas, Wailin’ Jennys to name a few so I am guessing I might just like this band too! Sure would love the chance to find out. Please count me in!
The interview was wonderful and Michelle and Dusti look beautiful. Let’s hear it for courageous women!
05/11/2009 at 1:11 pm
Winners of the @KissKillRocks CD/Book Combo prizes are: Knickolle Pitcher, Dawn Williams, & Leslie! I will be in touch for mailing info! New contest to win more indie music SOON! Thank you all for your comments. The new contest will be posted this coming weekend!
Cheers all!
Pamela