Proposition 8 (hate) lives on

May 26, 2009 • Politics, Pride, Religion • Views: 1829

Canada is the true Land of the Free – Home of the Gay


PhotobucketThis is a sad day for the state of California. It is a setback in the quest for equality in a country that prides itself on being free. I have friends in California, some straight; some gay: all in favor of equal rights for everyone.

I’ve been watching the news and following the explosion of thoughts on twitter. There was a PRO 8 minister on CNN. He went straight to the argument about marriage being between a man and a woman. Then he went to the natural progression: People will want to marry animals and children. This is the leap that always astounds me. I’ve never met a queer who said they wanted to marry a goat or a child. This concept seems to be in the minds of good upstanding heterosexual Christians. I have to say: it’s a LOT warped the way some people think.

The “sanctity of marriage” has not been well respected by heterosexuals. Divorce rates are what? 50%? Men and women mess around all the time. Some cultures encourage concubines. Seriously! What is it that two women or two men can POSSIBLY do to besmirch the sanctity of marriage?


This minister also said that it is proven that “The strongest families in America have a man and a women” at the helm. Again, SERIOUSLY? This guy has to check his statistics. There are rehabs filled with kids from “Normal” homes. There is NO recipe for a solid family with stable kids. We do the best we can and hope the lessons are learned.

I am from a broken home. My mother had the sense to leave my alcoholic father and give my sister and I the chance for a good life. My sister and I have done well. She, with her “Natural :Opposite Marriage,” and me with my queer life.

Sonia Sotomayor, a woman from Bronx, raised in poverty by her single mother (her father died when she was nine) is the next appointee to the Supreme Court. We are who we are and we become what we can be regardless of who our parents are. The best is IN US – it is up to us to unleash it.

PhotobucketI believe today’s upholding of Proposition Hate is a setback. It may take years more to right this wrong, but it will happen. There are those who would happily still own blacks as slaves of they could. But they cant! That hideous practice, once condoned buy the governing bodies, is dead and gone. One day the hideous practice of hindering equal rights, condoned by the government, will also be a thing of the past.

Stonewall. June 28, 1969. It has taken us 40 years to come this far. Momentum is gaining. There will be equality for all: it will not take another 40 years. My prediction: 10 years tops.

I’m with you in spirit, California!

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23 Responses to Proposition 8 (hate) lives on

  1. Galen says:

    I know this decision will inevitably change for the better. However, as for now I am pretty embarrassed for Cali. Unfortunately this reflects on the whole country in the world’s eyes and there are many people all over the world right now shaking their heads in disbelief. Just another reason to write of the most powerful nation on the planet. They really need to take a step back from the canvass down there in Cali and see what kind of world they are trying to create.

  2. gary says:

    for me this is an issue i don’t understand not when i see rights of other people being violated mainly minorities being assaulted by police having a system the sent drugs into a community sentenced me to decades in jail for non violent offenses simply because of economics where are the propositions for any of this before we can even approach gay rights we have to learn that we are all equal first but hey that’s just my opinion. i have nothing against gay marriages i would just like to see more people stand up against a systematic dismantling of certain communities and people of certain decent before i can acknowledge this being a major issue. after all it is a life style choice. not something imposed on you by an old antiquated power structure that views certain individuals as animals or less than human or as x slaves.

  3. Jen says:

    This is about life. In Seattle where we considered ourselves progressive a friend was turned away at the hospital as her partner lay dying because she was not Legally allowed to be there. She had to call her partners family in VA …get permission to be with her dying spouse. Insult to injury when they had to deal with a funeral home who would not recognize their partnership and the decision making process.
    This is a simple issue. Equality. No one is saying one right is more important than another. We are saying that all of us deserve to be treated equally.
    Check out the movie “For My Wife” Google it. Charlene Strong has been a key player in getting same sex partnership rights in the State of Washington.
    We shouldn’t have to write these laws, they are already there. All are created equal. Hello!

  4. Kathleen says:

    The concept frustrates me. I don’t understand how people can NOT see the equality factor and only think of the sex factor. Take the church and that belief system out the equation and go strictly on love. If you love someone, regardless of the sex of that person, you should be able to be in a relationship and receive the exact same treatment as the people in a relationship next to you. Just because two men or two women love each other that’s considered not acceptable? It’s only considered unacceptable or not “normal” because people take their heads to the “sex” place. There are so many heterosexual couples in today’s society who are miserable, in abusive relationships, etc., and if one of them lands in the hospital or dies the one left behind has rights because they are “married”. They could hate each other but still have rights because they are a man and a woman. A gay/lesbian couple who love each other deeply, who dote on each other hand and foot, would do anything for that person may not even be able to visit their partner in the hospital because they would not be considered family. All people deserve equality, not just certain people.

  5. I have to address Gary for a moment: Being gay is not “life style choice.” I was once married to a man. I “Tried” to be straight. I am not – it didn’t work out. The aspect of Choice” is also debated in the gay community. For me gay is not a Style or a choice. This is part of who I am.

    When someone’s partner can lose their child, and home because they are not recognized as a spouse or parent is a frightening reality to many queers who’ve had a partner die.

    There was a time when blacks were not allowed to marry whites. Governing bodies said it was agaist the word of the Bible. Then – it was overturned – all of a sudden “Good with God?” This is an issue of discrimination: plain and simple. Human rights are for ALL humans.

    I respect your thoughts on the topic. I also agree that minorities are being held down by the system. I grew up in poverty. There is a class system and the poor don’t rate very well as important human beings. Injustice is everywhere, I pray for global change. I want a planet that respects all living things. I fear that I will not see it while I’m here. So the best to hope for is right the wrongs one at a time.

    Thank you for your comments

  6. Galen, Jen, & Kathleen,
    I do believe this is a “matter of time” issue. Thanks for your comments. It is good for the soul to have such a wide variety of people commenting here. Equality is clearly something most of us believe in. The train rolls on… Time will make a difference.


  7. Jayel Aheram says:

    I am just confused why the government needs to be involved with marriage at all. It does not need to be illegal. It does not need to be legal either.

  8. There’s a reason for “Separation of Church and State!” It’s a mess for sure!

  9. This is a very sad day 🙁 I’m am thrilled to live in Canada for sure. Personally, I don’t think the government or the church should be involved in any of this at all! Equality to ALL people is the ONLY way to go.

    Very interesting blog indeed!

  10. Sandy Cameron says:

    Pam, this is a very good article that provokes a lot of thought. It is such a huge issue with so many twists and turns that I hesitate to write anything. But I’ll write a little. I’m a heterosexual man 66 years of age. Married to the same woman for 40 years and for whom I would lay down my life ( I’d do that for my kids too). I’m not homophobic and I don’t object to gay marriage. I only object to the redefinition of marriage by government … but that’s another topic, albeit related.
    I don’t believe this problem is going to go away as quickly as you hope. I wish it would. After so many years after Abe Lincoln there is still racial conflict; in these parts it is getting worse on both sides. I’m starting to believe that Islam and Christianity will only be united after Armageddon. As long as there is hatred there will be no equality. I believe the polarization has to stop before we all can enter common ground, the only place in my opinion, where constructive dialogue can take place toward the resolution of this and any injustice. I too pray daily for everyone to find that common ground so that we can all be equal but not necessarily the same. Thanks for the article.

  11. It pains me that this kind of BS is still going on in this day and age. I mean really, we hetros as a whole certainly do nothing to promote the so called “sanctity” of marriage. I came from two parents who were serial monogamists-neither one of them ever met a man or woman they didn’t marry. They each racked up three marriages and if I lived MY marriage based on that example, well…I would be living single now. (I’ve been HAPPILY married for 19 years now.)

    I wish that people could stop seeing the right to marriage as a straight or gay issue. It’s a HUMAN RIGHT, not a gay or straight right. Everyone has a right to be happy and in love and to have that love recognized legally. I just don’t get what harm it could possibly do to straight people if gay people could marry. I know several married lesbian couples and I think their marriages are far stronger than many of the straight marriages I see because they had to work hard for it. It wasn’t something they could just do on a whim or take for granted. It was a hard-won right.

    And besides, wasn’t Arnold Schwartzengger quoted as saying “I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”? It’s good to know people who know what they are talking about are in charge of making such important decisions.

  12. linda woods says:

    Hmmm…perhaps this is “a country that prides itself on being free” for it’s tax paying members who are white, Christian, and straight.

  13. jake says:

    I would love to start by saying that I LOVE my Godfather/ Uncle Sandy and that he has great stuff to say. Love knows NO boundaries-

    On that note, I believe that this will be resolved sooner than later (am I too optimistic?). It shocks me that the decision of “allowing” all humans to marry other humans of their choosing state-by-state is kinda fucked to me. It’s a regional thing? Really? And Cali of all places. I spend ENOUGH time there to KNOW that this Proposition was doomed from the start. Confusion in the wording; those in power relying on the stupidity of people not reading/ realizing WHAT they were voting YES on. “Yes on Prop 8”- for a lot of people- meant: Yes to Gay Marriage.
    I may be making no sense as I worked too long today and my mind is mush.
    But: Basic. Human. Right.
    Nuff said.

  14. Sandy Cameron says:

    Thanks Jake. I love you too.
    May I clarify one comment I made. I believe the legalization process will indeed happen in the not too distant future. Unfortunately the changing of one’s attitude to something that is different from his/hers will take forever (i.e. a global change in attitudes) … and until that happens I believe true equality and unconditional love may never happen. That’s what’s so sad about this and other issues where injustice and inequality exists. Changing humanities heart will take a lot longer that changing laws.
    Laws will not bring about reconciliation but attitude changes have a good chance. We should be dialoguing with each other rather than relying too much on government. Pierre Trudeau said it best a long time ago when he said ” … the state has no business in the bedrooms of the Nation.”
    I’m repeating myself now and starting to get preachy so I’ll stop. XXOO

  15. CarrieJ says:

    wonderful post. I too posted a blog on Prop H8. So far I have alienated at least one person from my youth. You can read his comment at the end of the post.

  16. I’m going to check out your post Carrie!

    I agree – there man never be a day when attitudes change universally, towards those who are not the “Same.” I hope the laws change quickly, at least that would be a step in the right direction. Pierre Trudeau was ABSOLUTELY correct! Get out of our bedrooms!

    To Leliania, Jake, & Linda,
    Thanks for your thoughts. I think we all agree the Prop Hate decision was B.S. I’m certainly going to be watching closely and praying for better!
    The world has lots of work to do.

  17. Karen Dinino says:

    Love the new site!! Wonderful post, Pam. As a lawyer, I know so well that what is reasonable so often is not the law. I also know that those who argue gay marriage will lead to marriage between humans and animals, and between adults and children, are, legally, completely wrong. Discrimination based on sexual orientation is illegal in California; discrimination based on being an animal is not illegal. I do not understand how it can be legal to deny homosexuals the right to marry, based on their sexual orientation. Mind boggling, and heart breaking. Canada, I bow to you!

  18. Sandra Spagnuolo says:

    Consenting adults should have free choice. Maybe the definition of marriage should concern itself with loving and respecting your partner. I can’t imagine how I would feel if someone redefined my relationship with my husband regardless of my love for him or our commitment to each other.

  19. Lisa says:

    Hi Pamela, I follow you on Twitter (Lsaid_what)….I am still flabbergasted about the Prop8 decision in California, it’s so bloody backwards! I stand with all those who oppose this dunderheaded, backwards decision & hope by the grace of God it will be reversed, it’s the only way to go!

  20. Hey Karen,
    Thanks for bring the wisdom of law here. It’s good to know a lawyer because understanding what’s illegal and what isn’t is very blurry at times. I see why you kids have to continue to study law the entire time you’re in it. We fought hard in Canada for the right to have same sex marriage. Our Mis-Leader, Harper is an Evangelist who wanted it gone. Part of his campaign platform was a promise to overturn the ruling. Well – he did not win a majority vote – he’s in office, but barely. So he hasn’t even attempted to overturn our right. Which has pissed off a lot of the evangelists who voted him in. Win – Win!

    Sandra & Lisa,
    Thanks for stopping by 🙂 I can’t imagine the uproar if the “People” decided to overturn the rights of heterosexuals. Or to outlaw inter racial marriage! I hope and pray that time brings change – SHORT TIME. I don’t know how the world can ever survive when we cant get along in our own back yards. When everyone thinks they are the CHOSEN and God is on their side there can’t be unity. Same sex rights is an issue that is indicative of all the other crap people fight about that is pointless. Live and let live!

    Thanks again!

  21. Jenny says:

    Thanks for writing, I really liked your latest post. I think you should post more frequently, you obviously have talent for blogging!

  22. Noelle says:

    If people in love can’t get married they should force all the unhappy people to get divorced. Love has no boundaries. Plain & simple.

  23. Lisa says:

    Pamela, I loved this blog, I too was shocked that Californians could be so backwards in their thinking, but I definitely believe along the same lines as you, equality for ALL, not just for some of us, to think otherwise is just so stupid!

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