There Are Days

January 23, 2009 • Dating & Relationships, Pondering Life • Views: 1365

There are things we never want to relive. People we don’t want in our space. Times better left forgotten. When I move past the difficult I have no desire to sit with it again. The old: been there – done that.

When things come wafting back there is little to do but deal the best we can. The ghosts, complete with the chains of Dickens, “Christmas Past”, have been circling. Funny, the things that once made me sad – now, simply, clutter my mind. Not with anger or hurt, but with unwanted memories of a time survived.

Some people will never understand the gravity of their words and actions. They will never say, “I’m sorry.” I’m not one of those people. I regret harsh words spoken in the heat of a moment. I have said, “I’m sorry,” many times. As the years pass I say it less and less because I’m aware of the power of a sentence. People hold on to the words we say so we can’t just toss them out there without consideration.

I was given some information yesterday. My initial thought was, “fuckin’ great – this again.” I didn’t get angry, but I wasted precious energy on something that is long dead and buried. I had a restless sleep and woke up thinking, “ I have to get this out of my head.” It really is a choice: happiness. We choose what we spend our energy on and I’m not spending another second on history; especially when it worked out for the best in the end.

There are days when the past pops up like a jack-in-the-box with a bad soundtrack. What we do with these days is up to us. I think I’ll clean my room and then finish a painting… I’ve been away from my brushes for far too long.

Joey – Circa 2005


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6 Responses to There Are Days

  1. linda woods says:

    Ooooh wow! I love the branches behind Joey! AMAZING!!

    I love the moment I realize the thing that made me sad (or annoyed or angry or hurt or whatever) in the past is now just something stupid that’s totally not worth the energy it takes to think about.

  2. jake says:

    you rawk, mama!

  3. jules says:

    Je suis désolée Lo siento Ik ben droevig Sono spiacente Perdóname I’ve heard it all before I’ve heard it all before…

    Your post made me have a flashback of similar days and someone I apologized to as often as I breathed. She had this expression that made me cringe– about my “apple cart always tipping over.” I don’t have a fucking apple cart, I bought my apples at IGA or St. Lawrence market, sometimes Costco. I don’t even know what an apple cart looks like, nor should anyone else living in this century.
    Sometimes it’s good to conjure up those scratchy memories though, because I can laugh about it now. I put her in her apple cart and pushed her away into the arms of an unsuspecting other! Ha!
    The Joey Circa 2005 is awesome! Get those brushes in your paws more often!

  4. Jules,
    Jake & my friend, Patience, suggested I duct tape the Jack-in-the-box shut. Maybe I’ll do that and then put it in your apple cart. And off it goes into the ether.

    I have to finish the Joey this weekend and launch into more paintings. I’ve lined the hall with 6 empty canvases – they remind me that they need paint. I’m on it! Promise.

    Jake & Linda,
    Thanks for your thoughts 🙂 And yes – it is great when we get to the point of: meh! Whatever….

  5. Cyndi says:

    I am struggling with my mind today too…. Not very often I can put things in words the way you do, so I find it comforting to read your words to know I am not alone…. I guess we all ghosts and we can never just walk away.
    I too will try to not give the past anymore energy and only look forward and be happy.
    Love you Sis, talk to you soon 😉

  6. Michael says:

    Hola de parte de, encontre tu blog navegando por la red buscando perdoname en google. Me parece super interesante la información que tienes en tu blog y sin lugar a dudas regresare a leerlo. Tengo una pregunta, si podria traducir tu blog “The Thought Vox » Blog Archive » There Are Days” y añadirlos a un de mis blogs en italiano? Y por supuesto con el link direccionando a tu blog. Estare esperando tu respuesta.

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